We tried McDonald’s Grimace Shake so you don’t have to

You loved our review of Tim Hortons pizza so much that we’re back with an in-depth, hands-on (or is it “mouth-on” or “taste buds-on?”) with McDonald’s latest creation, the Grimace Shake.

Let’s get into it:

Sickly sweet and sugar-filled

My key question regarding the Grimace Shake is how it canonically fits into the broader McDonald’s universe. Is the purple milkshake made from Grimace, the rotund purple creature of an undetermined species?

Is there more than one Grimace? Was a Grimace hurt to create the shake? Does the Grimace Shake consist of some sort of other fluid tied to everybody’s favourite monster? We’ll likely never know.

Does the Grimace Shake feature the purple creature’s soul condensed into a milkshake? We’ll likely never know.

I picked up my small Grimace Shake on my trip to the MobileSyrup office, alongside my favourite McDonald’s breakfast, a double-double coffee, a hashbrown, and a sausage and egg McMuffin. Given that it was 8:30am when I placed my order, I wasn’t surprised the employee taking it asked me to repeat myself three times.

But on to why you’re reading this review and my overall thoughts on the Grimace Shake. In short, I find it absolutely awful, and this is coming from someone who typically likes sweet food. Once I got past the off-putting purple colour, I was greeted with what I’d describe as a nauseating cotton candy taste that quickly gave me a headache.

It’s the definition of too much. I even found the shake’s blueberry smell overwhelming despite the taste being more in line with some form of melted candy.

After probably 5-10 sips, I was out and threw the remainder of the Grimace Shake in the garbage. This McDonald’s promotional stunt is not for me. I’ll stick with my standard vanilla McDonald’s milkshake, thanks. Hopefully, for Brad Shankar’s sake, he’ll enjoy the Grimace Shake far more than I did.

-Patrick O’Rourke

Better than it has any right to be

I didn’t know what to expect going into the Grimace Shake outside of the amusing meme videos of people trying the mysterious drink and then “dying.” If nothing else, it seemed like a logical move for McDonald’s, given how widely recognizable Grimace is for the brand. But of course, weird promotional stunts don’t always lead to the best products, so I went in with quite a bit of apprehension.

I have to say, though: the Grimace Shake is actually decent. As McDonald’s says on its website, the drink blends vanilla soft-serve ice cream with blueberry-flavoured syrup. Overall, it’s a solid mix, with the ice cream giving it a satisfying thickness while the syrup balances that out to give it a smooth consistency.

Check out that froth 😝.

I do wish, however, that it had a stronger taste. I normally love blueberries and similarly flavoured goods, but I prefer when they’re tart, and the Grimace Shake has more of an understated flavour. If I’m going to treat myself to a highly sugary drink, I want it to be more flavourful, especially when, in the case of the small size I went with, it’s a whopping 650 calories with 94g of sugar. For comparison, my go-to smoothie at Booster Juice, the Very Berry, is 280 calories with 50g of sugar. (Admittedly, though, that’s a few dollars more.) But even if we’re talking ordering just from McDonald’s, I’d still rather go with one of their normal fruit smoothies or, if I’m feeling ice cream, a McFlurry.

Ultimately, the Grimace Shake is a case of something being more compelling for the memes surrounding it than any of its own merits. On the flip side, this being a limited-time item means it’s something you’ll realistically only have once, anyway, so in that sense, it’s worth trying.

-Brad Shankar

The Grimace Shake is now available at McDonald’s locations across Canada for a limited time. You can get it in four sizes: Snack ($2), Small ($4.19), Medium ($4.89) and Large ($5.59). It can be ordered in-restaurant, at the drive-thru and through McDelivery. (You can also use the McDonald’s app, though it could rob you of $2,000.)